Coincidence is a marvel, it blows my mind at times. I’ve thought about and wondered at “Synchronicity” in our lives, Deja Vu fascinated me too. How something can happen then fall into the whirlpool that we know as life and you forgot it totally for many years, then suddenly it rears it’s head and becomes the most significant thing in your life. That has happened to me several times but the best was recently. I’m sitting in the living room, in an over-stuffed chair and sipping scotch. Looking at at a storm brewing way out over the Pacific Ocean. “About three hours and it’ll be here. We’re about five-hundred feet up and the horizon is about forty miles away. Maybe I should call Alicia and tell her to stay with Monica, they were shopping together. I had the wind sounds turned down to a soft rumble and was going back over the last couple of years. Alicia! What an amazing woman. The coincidences, the missed chances, what might have happened if fate had twisted just slightly the other way. Who’s to say there isn’t a universe where that may be true, where it did twist that way. I think of all this shit as I worry about Alicia. *** Eight years ago This was our last night but we had already decided to go on together. It was one AM or so and we were sitting in the jacuzzi drinking Biermischgetränk, a fifty-fifty mix of Pilsner beer and a sparkling lemonade the Bavarians called “Radler.” When I lived in Bavaria I had enjoyed it and when I saw it yesterday at a German deli in San Francisco I bought it and she liked it too. I was pretty firm from just looking at her, getting a good look at her crotch as she swung her legs in the jacuzzi. Seeing that hollow in her upper thighs, that little shadowy indent in the skin just as it dives under the crotch and becomes her outer lips has always excited me. You only see it when she opens her thighs wide like she’s inviting me in. The crotch is stretched tight and pulled into a shallow camel-toe. When I looked up after seeing that she was grinning at me, she had done it deliberately. I like my beer very cold, not warm like the Germans and when she set her drink down I lay my head back against the edge, relaxing and closing my eyes. When Alicia slipped her hand up the leg of my shorts, gripping my half-hard cock I jumped like I had been stung and it felt like she had flash-frozen it. I was soft instantly and it felt like it had shrunk to a negative four or five inches requiring a urologist to find it again. Not really, it just got very soft and the shocked expression on her face was worth every bit of it. Even in the dim light and steam I could see her blush. She lowered her head and I put my hands on her head, rotating her face up then leaned over and kissed all over her face saying, “Thank you, I liked that. Now it’ll be fun getting it ready again.” She laughed but it took her a few minutes to accept that and believe me. She kept her hand there on my cock and never tried to remove it. We were sitting in the jacuzzi with my cock in her right hand and looking at each other and I slid my right hand down across her shoulder and cupped her breast. I could feel her nipple was hard and when I gave it a little squeeze she jumped and her hand squeezed and moved and I got harder. Her one-piece suit was very sexy. She had good sized breasts, I don’t get the sizes, it confuses the hell out of me. I have two categories, “Wonderful” and “Fan-Fucking-Tastic” and they all fit in one of those two. Bumps to buckets is my smart-ass way of putting it. Alicia’s were heavy, they sagged and she would never pass the pencil test but I didn’t care, they looked and felt great. When my wife and I married she had marvelous breasts, thirty-six B she said, Escort Erenköy and the challenge going around then was to see if they sagged enough to capture a pencil put under them. Paige’s passed the cigarette test too and we would joke about some that looked like they wouldn’t pass the hammer test . Alicia has a bigger butt, not a skinny teenage one but not huge. Watching it as she walked was very pleasant and I got a kick out of the guys, girls to actually, that tried to hide looking. “Eat your fucking heart out!” is what I thought when the guys looked. Her thighs were a little heavy and she had a little roll at her waist when she sat, her belly stuck out a little (she has had two kids for gods sake) and there were stretch marks and cellulite. She has strong arms and hands, she’s a bow hunter and competes. I’ve watched her since and she wins a lot, I bow hunted for years and I always wondered how women keep from popping a nipple off with the bow-string. When she’s in full draw the string makes a crease in her left breast but her nipple is safe. She had a strong face, squared jaws and the corners of her mouth had a slight downturn. She had all those things that make a woman look Real . A lot look like perfect dolls that will break with the least bit of rough handling and you can’t play well without some roughness. Not a lot, I don’t like that. In other words, she was perfect. “Okay, I can fix that,” she said and slipped into the water between my legs. She pulled my suit down and off my legs, taking my cock (still very soft) in her left hand and looked at me. When I smiled she took a deep breath and ducked her head under water, taking me in her mouth. I got hard quickly as pumped her head up and down. Her mouth was six degrees cooler that the water and feeling that as she pushed her mouth down then pulled back up was wild. Usually the mouth was warmer but I decided I liked this too. I could feel the head bump into the back of her mouth and when she swallowed my cock slipped into her throat. She bobbed her head several times and pulled back out of the water blowing air with spit stringing out of her mouth and down her chin and took a shuddering breath. “Wow, that went right in. If you can hurry I’ll get you off under water. I can hold my breath for almost two minutes.” She smiled and grinned wide, “Would you like that?” “I don’t know, no ones ever done that to me before. I’ll try though.” She went back under and pushed me all the way into her throat in one shove and started pumping on me. She would get me all the way in then swallow and it didn’t take long. I was thrusting with my hips, holding her head in both my hands with hers on my thighs when I came. She shoved herself all the way down, her lips at the base and letting me essentially fuck her face. I am never rough when I do that, a slow gentle push in then back out, building until I can’t hold back then a blast that fades into a soft glow as I come. She jerked up and grabbed me with her hands while she took several big breaths but she kept pumping as I finished in her hands and sat back. I lay there exhausted, wrung out like a dish cloth. Her hands were stroking me and she said, “Did you like that?” “Oh god yes! That was a first for me and it was wonderful. Thank you,” I said. Paige and I actually met Alicia twenty-four years ago. We were celebrating our eighteenth anniversary and had tried to get our honeymoon room but it was taken by newlyweds and we just thought happy thoughts for them, that they would be as happy as we were. We stopped on our way to dinner to stand, looking at the door, holding hands and kind of kissing when the newly weds walked up. We introduced içerenköy escort ourselves and talked for a minute, explained and wished them luck before continuing on. We never saw them again but that image has popped into my mind now and again. He looked to be my age, forty-eight then, and she looked like a teenager. She was beautiful and I wondered about them. What it was like for him with her, you know, all those fantasies we guys have. It turns out he was my age and she was twenty. She likes older guys. Paige gave up on sex about ten years ago and then life a couple years later. She stared, seeing something in the thousand yard look she had. I never figured out what and now I never will. It bothers me beyond belief sometimes. Every morning is the start of a new life for her, she’s brighter, then by late afternoon she just sits and stares at something. I got into a lot of pot and scotch for a year. I was pretty useless, didn’t eat well and wound up weighing one-hundred thirty pounds, over a hundred down from my normal weight ten years ago. I was a bag of bones, an articulated skeleton wrapped in skin and dying by the inch when my kids forced me to rethink that. We raised some very strong ones and the threat of being committed by them was a real smack up-side my head that got my complete attention. They did an intervention, all seven of them and many grand kids and a couple close friends, about twenty, and they just beat the crap out of me. I can not even begin to describe how I feel about them. They did save my life, gave me a new one actually and I love them more than me. The question virtually every one asked me was, “Do you think mom (or grandma, or Paige) would have wanted you to kill yourself, you fucking asshole?” They pull no punches, that’s what we had taught them. Every one of them was brought up to stand toe to toe with god in a screaming go to hell fight, and not back down. There were some spectacular discussions that went on in our house. After that I started doing things again, seeing people and living. Taking my kids and grand kids to dinner or something. They tried to fix me up a couple times but I wasn’t ready for that. A couple were very good looking and friendly, I was just not ready for anyone new yet. I finally started going around to some of the places we had been, remembering and crying, feeling sorry for myself. After a few months I started to get used to it and the crying mostly went away. I was still barely getting by emotionally but that improved. I actually took one of the women my kids had introduced to dinner. We had a good time but no sex, just a quick goodnight kiss, I still wasn’t ready. It upsets paige if I bring up what we were when I visit so I usually sit and watch her with her friends. They all know me and they hug and kiss me and I think a couple hit on me. I don’t see much except Paige when I’m there though. I used to see her every day but now it’s every two to three weeks. It tears me up and I usually drink to much scotch and smoke to much pot afterwards, then I get maudlin as hell and cry myself to sleep waking up with a headache and a hangover. I decided to visit our honeymoon spot in Carmel and made reservations last year. I got there and checked in then lay in the bed for a couple of hours and took a nap. I drank scotch, smoked a lot of pot then cried for an hour and passed out actually. I could see Paige sitting at the dressing table brushing her hair, then standing at the sink and brushing her teeth or washing her body with a cloth, lifting her breasts and cleaning the crease that would get a rash if she sweat to much. Shit, I could hear her voice and laughter and that Tuzla escort bayan was a fucking bitch. I would see flashes of what we had done there on our honeymoon, then another from years later when we went back and they all mixed in a jumble, piling up then crushed me when it fell. I finally got up around eight and decided to have dinner where we had our first married meal. Hers; center-cut prime rib, medium rare, baked potato with butter and sour cream, no chives, bacon bits and steamed vegetables. Mine; bottom, end-cut, well done and it’s been soaking in the meat juices for hours, baked potato, butter only, steamed vegetables. A standard meal for us. I would order both and give Paige’s away to any woman in the restaurant, only a woman and I would surreptitiously watch. I would watch them eat and get lost in my memories. If no women I would take it with and give it to a street person. Some times I took it home then threw it awayafter a couple of days. I heard a soft knock and when I opened the door an attractive woman about forty-five was standing there. Not skinny but not overweight. Just right. She had her head down and when she heard me she looked up. She had been crying hard. Her makeup was ruined and running all over her face. I said, “God, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? What can I do to help you?” She had a Kleenex in her hand but there was no way It was enough for the disaster I was seeing. She said, “No, thank you, I’ll go now.” And she started to turn away. I touched her shoulder and she stopped then looked up at me with eyes that were so sad they made me want to cry. Shit, this woman was in pain. I said, “Please let me help you. If you leave like that you will either scare someone to death or I’ll be accused of attacking you. I was on my way to dinner but come in, please, use the bathroom to clean up and calm yourself. You could have an accident if you try to drive like this.” She looked at me, wondering if I was safe and I said, “I’ll leave the front-door open and pour you a glass of white wine while you clean up. There’s a lock on the bathroom door. I’m here to celebrate an anniversary that my wife can’t attend any more. We honeymooned here forty-six years ago, came back several times and a couple times we came even though we couldn’t get this room.” While I was telling her that her face changed. From that “concerned disaster” look to a wide-eyed look of wonder and excitement. Hope? I don’t know but she looked at me like I was her savior for minutes and I just stood there waiting. She finally smiled and said, “It’s okay, and thank you, I will take you up on that offer. I won’t impose any more than I must, and you don’t need to leave the door open. I don’t think I’ll need the bathroom lock either.” I laughed and escorted her in, shutting the door and watching her. She looked at me as she closed the bathroom door, the edge moving across her face until just one eye showed, hesitating, then closed and I did not hear the lock engage. I heard the toilet flush and her start to cry again. She was sobbing hard and I thought it sounded like she was talking to someone. I thought about about asking if she was okay but didn’t. Twenty minutes later she stopped crying and I heard the sink then the shower and that made me wonder. Images of her naked in the shower flashed through my mind and I played with that for a while. I poured a couple glasses of the white wine Paige liked and put one on the coffee table, next to a plush chair. I could hear her mumbling, saying something but I couldn’t make it out. I sat across the coffee table, sipped and played a scene or two of her in the shower. When I heard it stop I topped off my glass and set it down, waiting for her. When she stepped out of the bathroom my eyes widened and I guess I got a goofy expression on my face because she laughed. She was wrapped from high on her chest to below her knees in a big, fluffy towel, a bath blanket. Her head and neck were covered with the towel she had her hair wrapped in.