Alan

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It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything. There’s been a lot of life, and some death going on. So, thank you for your patience. I am working on several other stories – ones that I hope you will enjoy.

Warning: There is no futa, blackmail, or magic in this story except for the magic two people can create. If you seek something fast, this is not your best choice, I hope the build-up and climax (bad pun intended) will entertain you. Comments are welcome and I try to answer all emails.

This story was suggested to me during a chat…enjoy.

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It’s been six months since my wife, Sally, died suddenly. She had been complaining of being tired, her body aching, breaking out in a rash, and having a fever for a few months. Nothing she tried worked, so she went to her doctor. An acute and aggressive form of leukemia – cancer of the blood. Four weeks after being told, we were holding her funeral.

I was in a state of shock. Nothing was real for me during the last month of her life. Everything progressed so quickly I didn’t have time to process, so all I did was to love Sally the best way I could. I had to be strong for her as she wasted away in front of me. The best woman in the world was now gone, but lived in my heart as she would forever.

My name is Jim, 43 years old, and healthy. My health and stamina were tested as I tried to care for Sally during the last three weeks. Thank God for Lottie, a hospice nurse who was with us eight hours a day. I stayed with Sally another eight hours talking quietly and reading to her from her favorite book when she went to sleep, which was a lot. I had to do something to try and make it better for her. Our son, Scott and his boyfriend Alan, came by most days for a few hours to help. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without their assistance.

Now, six months after the funeral I am beginning to get back to my old self. I miss Sally a lot, but I think that’s going to be with me for life. Lottie checks on me once a month to make sure I’m okay. Scott and Alan used to check on me, then they broke up. Scott travels for work often so I hear from him by phone once or twice a week. Alan has continued to come by a couple of times per week which I appreciate.

One of the things I soon realized after Sally’s death was that I won’t ever find another woman like her. So many came by the first three months with food and sympathy, but I could tell they wanted something – something I wasn’t sure I could ever give another woman. None of them seemed to really care; it was just a feeling I got.

I tried to start back to work. They had been very patient with me as I worked through her illness and then my grief. I was given full pay for almost three months, but I really needed to go back to work to keep my job. I worked for a great company as a vice-president, but without Sally around it just seemed so mundane and boring. So I gave my notice.

I really didn’t need to work any longer since Sally’s company had a very large insurance policy on her; we carried a large policy on one another; she was to receive a very nice bonus which they would give me, and we were rigorous in our savings. I now owned the house and cars and had a decent sum coming in every month. I was fine financially; personally was a different question altogether.

So, here I was at home wondering what I was going to do next when Alan popped in. His smile just lit up my day and made everything better. I didn’t know why my son and he broke up because all I could see in Alan was a loving, giving, intelligent, fun person. I just felt better when Alan was around!

After a hug to greet one another I just looked at him for a moment and broke out into a smile.

“Alan, I just want to get out of here,” I told him. “Not sure where I want to go, but wherever I go it will be better if you are with me.”

Alan looked at me for a few moments then broke out into a wide grin,

“Of course I’ll go with you,” he said, maintaining his smile. I don’t know why, but at that moment I fully came alive for the first time in many months. Did just being around Alan have that much influence over me?

“Where are we going,” he asked.

“Not sure but the first stop is the car wash. It’s been months since either car was washed. After that we’ll figure it out.”

We walked out to my ten-year old Toyota Four Runner and I opened his door for him while he got in.

“Such service,” he said with a smile.

“Only the service you deserve for putting up with me all of these months,” I replied.

We drove to the car wash and while we were waiting, I asked him a serious question.

“Alan, why have you kept coming by after breaking up with Scott? Don’t get me wrong, I have loved it and loved having you around, but why?” My voice was low, serious and I hope it sounded like I’d accept any answer he gave me. I put my hand on his as I waited for him to answer. I watched him take a deep breath as he considered what to tell me.

“Jim,” he began, “I was with Scott Anadolu yakası travesti as you know and things didn’t work out. When we were coming by, and then just me, I got to really know you during the worst possible time in your life.”

I gave his hand an appreciative squeeze. “For which I will always be so very thankful.”

“But, something happened,” he continued. “I didn’t expect it. I knew Scott and I wouldn’t last and I found that in you I had the most gracious, loving, accepting person I have ever seen. Even in your deepest grief you were kind to everyone. I just wanted to be around you, Jim.” He couldn’t hold my eyes as he spoke. He seemed to be a bit embarrassed.

Did he really see me like that? How could he see that? I was so absorbed in my grief for so many months. But there is no denying I am attracted to Alan – he’s like Sally in so many ways, but different.

“Alan.” my voice soft and clear, “thank you for those words. You have made me feel like a human again and ten feet tall. I’d love to spend time with you; to get to know you; appreciate you more as a result.” His hand covered mine and I felt its softness and warmth. Just this small touch made me tingle all over, which I hadn’t felt in a long time. But, I told myself I wasn’t gay.

“So, I can keep coming by your house,” he asked.

“You can come by the house any time you want as often as you desire. But, I’d like to do things with you; to go out. After all, you are one of my favorite people in the world.”

“Like go on dates?”

“If you don’t mind being seen with me. You know I am a bit older than you are,” I reminded him.

I noticed a tear run down his cheek and reached up to wipe it away with my finger. He took my hand in his and rubbed his face in the palm of my hand. There’s no way he could know Sally would do the same thing.

“I’d love that,” he told me.

“I’ll give Scott a call so he knows, okay? Out of respect and love for him.”

Alan looked a bit nervous when I told him I’d be calling Scott. Why would he be nervous? What is he so concerned about?

“What’s Scott going to tell me? Are you wanted for murder?”

“No,” he said with a smile.

“Are you a con man?”

“No,” he said with a bigger smile.

Thief?”

“No,” it was getting to be a game to see how big he could smile.

“Are you on the Top Ten Wanted list?”

“No, silly man,” he said with a grin.

“Then there is nothing he can tell me except to wish us the best that will change my mind about you.”

“The car is almost done,” adroitly changing the topic, “and we haven’t decided where we’re going on our day out.” I told him with a warm smile as I squeezed his hand.

“Date,” Alan corrected. “How about the Presidential Library? They have a show I’d love to see,” Alan suggested.

“I want to see that one, too. Sally and I talked about getting tickets for it. You and I are going today!”

We got in the clean car and started toward the library. It would take over an hour to get there. I asked Alan to connect his phone to the car and to take care of the music. He did and began to sing along with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen. After a few minutes, I placed my hand on his knee and looked at him.

“Is this okay,” I asked.

“It’s more than okay,” he responded.

I may not be gay generally speaking, but for Alan I mightl make an exception, I told myself.

The drive just sped by – no, that was not some bad pun. Soon we were pulling into the Library parking lot, getting our tickets and entering. I won’t bore you with the exhibits we saw, or how impressed we were with all that particular President did, but I will tell you it was a special joy to share it with Alan. I just liked being with him.

After the library we stopped for an early dinner at a seafood place. Very informal – they serve their meals on paper plates, but the fish they served us was swimming in the sea that morning. The food and company was delicious.

When we got back to my house, it still seemed so strange to think of it in those terms, Alan told me he had to go home and finish some work that was due soon. He designed web sites and developed online marketing strategies for his clients and was always facing deadlines. He has told me a few times that he could work anywhere as long as he had a good internet connection. Was he trying to tell me something?

After he left, I gave my son Scott a call.

“Hey, Scotty, it’s Dad.”

“How are you doing? Things getting any easier?”

“They are, Scotty. Day by day. Having you and other folks checking on me, but not smothering me has made it easier. Thank you for all of the time you have taken to make sure I was okay.”

“Dad, you never have to thank me. I love you. And, isn’t it what sons should do for their fathers?”

“Regardless. Thank you. Love you, Scotty.” There was a moment of silence and then I started, “You know Alan has continued to come by a couple times a week…”

“Did you Anadolu yakası travestileri want me to talk to him; to get him to back off,” Scott interrupted.

“Not at all, I really enjoy his company. Alan is truly a caring, giving and smart person.”

“He is that,” Scott agreed.

“So, knowing I am butting in where I don’t belong, what happened to you two,” I thought there might be a chance of angering Scott just by asking. His response was interesting and confirming.

“Dad, Alan is all of the things you mentioned and much more. He’s really amazing,” Scott explained. “But I wanted someone who was more…umm…manly. God, I don’t know if I am explaining this very well and it’s so weird to be telling you: my Dad.”

“Your Dad who loves you no matter what,” I added.

“Why are you asking me about Alan,” Scott asked.

“It’s either easy or difficult to explain,” I said, chuckling. “I believe I will never find another woman like your Mother; I don’t even want to look because I think it will be fruitless. Your Mother set the standard for what a woman should be in my mind.”

“Yeah, she was great,” Scott agreed quietly with a sadness in his voice.

“But, I see a lot of the qualities in Alan that I saw in your Mom. Caring. Generous. Optimistic. Smart. Hard working…

“He’s all of that and more, Dad. What are you trying to tell me?”

“That I want to see him,”I said after taking a deep breath. ” Spend time with him. Do things with him. Get to know him away from the grief.”

“You want to date him,” Scott said plainly. “Stating the obvious, he’s gay.”

“I know, Scotty. You have always had a talent for going to the heart of the matter,” I told him with a chuckle. “But it’s the wonderful qualities he has that makes him so unique that attract me. As for the gay part, it’ll work itself out. It’s the qualities that are important.”

“So, why did you call me?”

“I love you, Scotty. I would never want to do anything that would jeopardize our relationship. I needed to let you know what I was thinking and to find out if you were okay with it,” I told him.

“Dad, you couldn’t jeopardize our relationship,” Scott told me lovingly. And then he started laughing! “You. Alan. That’s perfection. I wish I could take credit for it. I think you would be so good for one another and will tell Alan if he calls me.”

“Thanks, Scotty. That means a lot to me. Now, go out and do some good,” I told him. “Sunday afternoon. Barbecue. Here.”

“I ‘ll be there,” he told me. “It’s great to hear life back in your voice. Love you, Dad.”

“Bring your boyfriend if you want.”

“I’ll think about it.”

We ended the call and I realized I was the happiest I had been in months. I texted Alan thanking him for his time and telling him how much I enjoyed it. I also asked him to lunch the next day, but didn’t want to interfere with his work. He replied immediately telling me he loved our time together and lunch would be great. We made arrangements for me to pick him up at 11:30.

Life was good, again..

I then upgraded my internet speed and researched wifi systems. Made a decision and planned to get it the next morning. Thank God I could do so much online.

It was time to relax and get to bed. However, thinking about Alan as I was lying in bed something happened that hadn’t occurred in many months. I became aroused. Hard. So very hard. Growing out to my full eight inches. My hand went to it as I thought about Alan…how complete he was to me…how…lovely is the right word. My orgasm that night was fast but epic!

The next morning I was up and refreshed. Worked out lightly for the first time in months including a 20 lap swim – we had a lap pool put in a decade ago and it was in use almost everyday by Sally and I until she got sick. Then I showered and had breakfast. I purchased my wifi system when the store opened, got back and set it up – it really was as easy as the reviews said. Checked internet speed and was pleased. Then went to pick up Alan for lunch. It was a busy morning.

I let Alan know I was on my way and as I arrived at his apartment, I saw him waiting on the curb for me. The Sun was catching his hair. It seemed to sparkle and shine and just took my breath away.

It occurs to me I have not given you a description of Alan. I won’t do him justice; just a fair warning. He’s about 5’7″, slim without being thin, lightly tanned, longish light brown hair that is in some kind of tapered cut, and has the bluest eyes I have ever seen. His facial features are softer than most guys; his skin is darn near flawless. And his smile can outshine the Sun; I was getting one of those as I pulled up and double parked.

As Alan got in, my day got better. He was dressed casually, but nice. I did notice that his pants fit him a bit more closely than yesterday and that he left an extra button undone on his shirt that put a bit more of smooth skin on display. Was there some kind of meaning? I don’t know. But I did know Travesti Anadolu yakası he looked great.

“Hi, Alan,” I started with what I know to be a huge smile. “How’re you doing this fine day?”

“Jim, my day just got great,” he nearly gushed and I am pretty sure I blushed.

“I know this Mexican food place that’s pretty close,” I told him.

“Sounds great.”

The ride really was short and we just beat the lunch rush. Service was quick and the food was good. The company was even better. He told me about his morning and some of the things he was working on. I told him about improving internet speed and wifi.

“Why did you increase internet speed and get better wifi,” he asked genuinely interested.

“I work from home now, as you know, and already have a project or two,” I told him, remaining vague on purpose. “Plus, if you ever want to work over at my house, you know I have plenty of bandwidth for whatever you need.”

“You’d let me work at your place,” he asked.

“Of course. You could take swim breaks if you wanted. Enjoy the kitchen. Make yourself at home…if you want.”

He looked at me. I couldn’t quite read his expression.

“I don’t know,” he started. “How much bandwidth?” I could see a smile playing on his lips.

“Gig.”

Alan’s eyebrows went up and he broke out into a huge smile.

“How could I not work there? Gig internet. Nice house. Great kitchen. And, you’re there,” he added softly as he again gave me one of his Sun powered smiles.

I handed him a key to the house. “Think of it as a key to your office,” I told him. I gave him Sally’s old key that was pink with a rhinestone on it. Very feminine. He looked at it and knew where it came from; how special it was.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“It’s my pleasure. I spoke with Scotty last night, Alan. I am not sure what is going to happen with us. I know what I hope happens.” Could I get any more confusing in my start to an important chat? “Anyway, I told him I wanted to get to know you better and I didn’t want him to feel weird or be angry. Or, whatever he might feel.”

“You are an honorable man,” Alan said quietly.

“Thank you, but I have ever thought about it.”

“Which is what makes you…you.”

I paused to smile, not sure what to say, but I thanked him.

“If we are to be successful to whatever degree it will be for us, Scotty needs to be okay with it. He was.”

“I talked with Scotty last night, too,” Alan told me. “It would seem that we have his blessing to pursue whatever we will have.”

“Thank you for doing that. Calling him is what makes you special, considerate and caring. There you go proving it again,” I told him.

There was a pause in our conversation as we finished eating. Alan looked very thoughtful; almost distracted and a bit worried.

“I need to tell you something. It’s important, but I’m not sure how you will react.” Yeah, this was important whatever it was he had to tell me.

“Well, as long as you aren’t addicted to crossword puzzles, we’ll be fine,” I told him, smiling.

“Never! Don’t even like them,” he declared as he smiled softly. I do love his smile. Have I mentioned that? Then he took out his phone and turned it to me so I could see the screen.

I saw the image of a woman wearing beautiful heels, a tight skirt to her knees with a slit running almost to her thigh, stocking tops just barely visible in the slit, simple white blouse with an extra button open, perfect makeup, dark rimmed glasses, a soft smile and those bright blue eyes! Oh yes, her short hair was tousled a bit. I looked up at Alan and smiled.

“So, your big secret is that you like images of beautiful sexy women.” I asked.

“No. That’s me…” and then it hit him. I knew it all along.

“It was the eyes,” I told him.

“And, you aren’t repulsed,” he asked.

“Nope. How could I be.” I asked. “She, is that right to call her she?”

Alan nodded, not saying a word.

“She,” I continued, “is just another part of your heart; part of who you are and I want to know all of you. I like you, Alan, and I know I will like…what’s her name,” I asked.

“Allie,” he said softly with a tear in his eye.

“I’m going to like Allie, too. Maybe a lot. To me this makes you even better.”

He was beaming and silently crying at the same time. At noon in a crowded restaurant! Then he jumped up and gave me a tight hug as I sat there whispering. “Are you real?” I nodded as he hugged me. “You are better than I ever imagined.”

“So are you,” I whispered.

He released me and sat back down still smiling. The bill came and I paid it leaving a nice tip.

“We both have some work to get done this afternoon. I need to get you back.”

“I don’t want to go. But, there are some folks depending on me.”

As I drove him back to his apartment I suggested that he come over around 4:00. If he had the time I wanted him to test the new wifi system. As I dropped him off, he gave me a quick peck on the cheek which I felt in my soul.

On the way home I stopped by a mattress store. I wanted to get a new king mattress to replace the one Sally and I had shared. The one she died in. Up to that point I had been sleeping in a guest room. It was time for me to return to the Master. They told me they would have it all installed the next day, which was perfect.