Self Confessions of a Gurl Lover
Self Confessions of a Gurl Lover
How I got here started a long time ago. Just for the record, I’m a forty-nine-year-old, twice divorced, father of two, former soldier. I did a tour in Desert Storm, spent some time in Germany, and eventually got out of the Army after twenty years of service to Uncle Sam. My k**s were born in 1990 and 1994, a daughter and then a son. Those k**s, well adults now, are my pride and joy. My second career is as an EKG technician and I really like it. For fun, I play cards, checkers, chess, softball, and a little basketball. I own a nice condo near downtown. Recently, I became a grandfather – that boy means more than the world to me. And yeah, I’m a Black man.
I guess you’re wondering the reason why I’m sharing so openly with you about my life. That’s an easy question to answer. I’ve been going to couples’ counseling lately and one of my assignments was to write a letter about myself to myself. Yeah, I thought it was weird too. But, I’m interested in making this relationship work so I’m doing it. Let me go ahead and get to the point of this whole exercise.
I entered the military right out of high school. I was the typical enlistee back then – young, dumb, and full of cum. I ended up getting a girl I met pregnant so I married her. We had two together, but after nine years we called it quits. I have to be honest and say that while I was a good father and provider, I was not a good husband. I routinely slept with other women.
This next revelation gives a bit more color as to why I’m here. In ’95, I took a vacation with a couple of my homeboys to L.A. It was a blast. Of course, we were drinking and d**gging and bedding beautiful women. One of the women I met turned out to be transsexual. I had no idea at first. But, I went ahead with it because it was late, I was high, and I was extremely horny. Plus, she was hot. I didn’t interact with her anymore after that encounter and I even questioned myself. I began cheating more frequently with genetic women to prove to myself I was all man. The curiosity and enjoyment slowly took over my mid and two years later, I was taking trips to watch drag shows. I fucked several of the queens I saw perform. And within a year, I began going after feminine men whether or not they were in drag.
Finally, my wife let me know she had had enough of me staying out late and forgetting important dates. She never found many of the other women were in fact born male. I was single for two tears after that divorce. I went wild couldn’t get enough ass from trannies, sissies, femboys, drag queens, girly faggots. There were many and we had lots of fun. No one was attempting to tie me down or so It seemed. It would have made very little difference any way.
I decided to get married a second time to a friend. She knew a lot about me, but not about the type of ladies I was seeking out. I kept many secrets during our marriage. It worked for as long as it did because we were never stationed together. We would see each other as often as once a month to as little as for times a year based on our stations. In the ninth year of our marriage, I retired from the Army. We found we were more suited to living apart than together full time. After eleven years of matrimony, we split.
I felt that I had free reign at this point in my life to go after the gurls. And that’s what I did. It seemed now that some of them did want to lock me down. I was averse to this because I was twice divorced and jumping into another commitment sounded about as fun as drilling a hole in my head. So, I avoided it for a long time.
Then I met Devon. He was very pretty and outgoing. He was enrolled in community college and worked part-time as a server. We spent a lot of time together even though he officially lived with his parents. He stayed over three or four nights a week at my place. Eventually, I helped him get an efficiency apartment because I still needed alone time. Although I fucked around, the frequency was much less than ever in the past. I was about to move Devon in with me and make a go at it, but I discovered he was using crystal meth heavily. It got pretty bad for him pretty quick. He’s now locked up.
At that point in my life, I had three main sissies I fucked with. There was Skittles. He was tall and slender with chocolate skin and a big fake ass. He was a screamer and loved my nine inches. I still remember how his booty jiggled. Next was Andi. He was white and in his early thirties. He had a career and a live-in partner who was much older than him. Most of our sessions were early evenings or weekend mornings under the guise of going to the gym. Finally, I had Memo. He was Colombian and knew how to take dick too. I always joked that I needed an Asian to round out my stable.
Then, I met Laird. He was the host at a restaurant where I was meeting coworkers. He was mixed with Black and Vietnamese. He had curly hair and great skin. His eyes were beautiful and his smile matched. I asked for his number and he obliged. Of course, there is a little more than a twenty year age gap, but I didn’t see that as a challenge – in my forties and still thinking with my other ‘head’. We hit it off quite well. Within a few months, he was spending every night at my place. I was fine with it and had slowly cut ties with my other sissies.
Now, we’ve been living together for six months. My family has met him. I came out to my k**s a couple of years back. They were cool with it. I didn’t make it a point to tell my siblings. And, both of my parents had passed on by the time I was comfortable enough admitting it to people I knew and loved. At any rate, we are in therapy because we don’t see eye-to-eye and it has caused some arguments. I don’t expect us to agree on everything. But, I didn’t think we should see a ther****t.
The final straw that made me realize it was when Laird packed up and moved out because he thought I was cheating. Honestly, I had been hooking up with Skittles and Memo on the sly. Also, I was occasionally putting money on Devon’s books. All of this was unbeknownst to someone I professed to love. I’m not perfect and I’m not saying I can change all of my ways overnight. I’m just saying I’m willing to work on them. I’m pretty lucky because Laird came back and I just ravaged his sexy ass during halftime. I plan to get in that tight apple bottom once more before we go to sleep.
But, I’ve got to make more of an effort. Right now, I’m looking at a video of my dick slide in and out of white Emo punk I met. I just recorded this yesterday. I can hear that beta bitch screaming, “Fuck my lily-white punk ass with that big nigger dick!” It was such a turn on then and it still is now. I’m jacking my dick again. This is ridiculous. I’m going to close this letter out and call Laird in for another round.